Dear Sink P-trap:
I cannot say that emphatically enough.
Tonight you saved me from a world of emotional and physical hurt.
Normally I don't think all that highly of you. It's not that I think lowly of you, I simply give you little consideration except to chuckle at your name.
I understand the role you play as gatekeeper. You stand watch over the forgotten points of entry into my house. At night I deadbolt the doors and lock the windows. I never think to secure the pipes. Yet there you are keeping predators from entering my sanctuary. You enable me to sleep deeply, soundly, safely without ever wondering if I'll wake to the smell of sewer gas roaming my halls.
Yes, now and again I hear of water born pathogens such as snakes and alligators entering homes through the pipes, but that's not your fault, perhaps we humans haven't given you all the tools you need. You're a dip in a pipe, how much should we expect?
And so I must apologize for all the times I take you for granted.
Tonight you bailed me out big time. I will be forever grateful, for while I was washing my hands my ring fell off and slipped down the drain.
Now don't go blaming the drain. I know you two are at odds because of such issues. It isn't the drain's fault that the installer never provided the drain with the pop up top. The drain's only half installed so back off!
I take full responsibility for the ring washing away. You see it was a very hot day when Sheena and went ring shopping and my hands were swollen. Now on cold days, such as today, my fingers are so thin that it just pops right off.
And today as I saw my wedding ring disappear into the plumbing abyss, I was so thankful that you where there watching my back. The gatekeeper extraordinaire, standing tall, keeping predators from entering the house, and our most prized possessions from running away.
If it wasn't for you I'd be ring-less tonight.
I will, from this day forward, be singing your praises o mighty P-trap.