March Thanksgiving

Monday, March 15, 2010
I realize that Thanksgiving is a long way off. (Seven months if you're Canadian.) However, today I am thankful for a few things and thought I should share them.

I'm thankful that for a limited time milk is a penny cheaper at Walmart. I joked recently that I'll have to save those pennies for a very long time before I can afford a pool. But let's be honest, saving a penny makes me feel really good. It's like they say, "A penny saved is a penny earned." So while I hope the Walmart execs who thought to roll back the price of milk by 1/100 of a dollar, aren't patting themselves too hard on their backs, I am thankful they did it because it is, the rolling back of the price of milk by one penny, a funny punchline, and because a penny saved really is a penny earned. And now according to the old adage I'm not sure if I've earned two pennies or one.

I'm also thankful for the way we tell time. Can you imagine how confusing it would be to announce the reading of a clock with a fraction? I can, and it would go like this: "Oh, I see that it is three and twenty five sixtieths of an hour. I must hurry if I'm to catch the train that leaves at three and a half.*"

Those last two sentences were ridiculous. I began writing them at fourteen hours, thirty six sixtieths of an hour, nineteen sixtieths of a minute. And finished writing them at fourteen hours, thirty seven sixtieths of an hour, fifty eight sixtieths of a minute.

It took thirty seven times longer to calculate and figure out how to write and say that last paragraph than it did to write the two sentences described by it.** However, while writting that paragraph it occurred to me that perhaps it would be easier to calculate the duration of things if time was stated in that manner.

I should say that I'm quite comfortable without exactly knowing exactly the duration of things.

I like my time digital. Well, I like my watch analog because of how classy analog watches look, but I like to state it digitally because I like colons. I'm speaking specifically about the punctuation marks. Although, I suppose that my fondness of digestive health also means I'm fond of the other colon. Now, as for the telling of time I quiet enjoy throwing a colon in there.

It's 2:50pm.

And now I'm wondering if using fractions would be the ultimate analog watch.

Moving on...

I'm also thankful for March. Here's what's so wonderful about March: A good number of family members have been born in March--especially a little girl that my wife and I have grown quite fond of. I'm also a fan of March because you have days like today when it almost feel necessary to have the window rolled down while driving. I greatly enjoy driving with the window open but do to the fact that I drive an older Volkswagen, meaning the vehicle has no heat, I have been prohibited from doing so for some time. And now it's becoming window open season and I'm thrilled.

Finally, I'm thankful that I have a place where my brain comes up with weird ideas. For example, a few minutes ago I was in the bathroom. While in there I checked the time and went "It's 2:25. i suppose you could say it's twenty five sixtieths of an hour past 2. Oh man, I'm so glad we don't talk like that." And now I've spent the past few minutes going on about that.

Thank you bathrooms for helping me think.

*I don't know why, but somehow I associate fractions with a bygone era--one where train travel was more commonplace.

** I feel compelled to inform you that the figure "thirty seven times" is completely made up. I'm not that good at math, and you should know this. If you know me, then you already knew this, and knew instantly that the thirty seven was made up. If you're married to me you instantly, upon reading the "thirty seven," told everyone around you that I lied.


冠宇 said...
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