1 Grande + 1 Grande = 11 Grandes

Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I read an article yesterday that Starbucks is testing out an even larger sized cup. It seems someone has told them that a 32 ounce cup of iced coffee is exactly what everyone needs.

I'm undecided on where I stand with the sizing option. However, if they're seriously considering naming it the "Trenta" then I seriously hope they reconsider. Here's my issues with the name.

1. According to this website the name rhymes with "Venti" yet ends with an "a". I don't get it. How big of a looser am I going to look like for mispronouncing it all the time? Guess what, in my feeble attempts to get what I want, I already look like a dork trying to rattle off the right combination of the made up English/Italian hybrid language they've got going on. It only works 52% of the time as it is. Let's not make this more difficult for me and people like me.
2. It would be a huge drink named after a tiny town. That makes no sense. If it's a big drink name it after a big town, and not after a town of only 2,600* people. (Coincidentally, 2,600 it the number of people who can take a sip of one "Trenta.") If you name a drink after a small town, you're giving the impression that larger drinks might follow. That could be an even worse idea.

Now if they're going for the whole irony of large drinks names after small places, then perhaps the largest cup ever should be called the "Atrani," or "Citta Morte." Look them up and see if you agree.

Here then, are my suggestions for other names to be considered. As best as I can tell, they're all Italian. I've provided the definitions from wordreference.com

1. Vescica -- bladder -- There should also be a warning on the side of the cup: "if consuming this beverage while on a road trip, keep this cup because you may need it to empty your vescica.
2. Torrione -- great tower -- that is simply what the cup looks like next to a Tim Hortons large.
3. Petroliera -- oil tanker -- Hmmm, which holds more?
4. Enorme -- enormous -- This seems to fit the sizing idea better. You've got the grande with is grand, why not have the enorme which is enormous? Plus it has a nice ring to it.
5. Cisterna -- cistern -- I'm pretty sure there are wells somewhere that produce less than 32 ounces of water a minute.

These are my thoughts on the name, what are yours?

* this stat come courtesy of Wikipedia, so take it however you will.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.