My Sweet Jesus

I stumbled upon this web site the other day.

It scared me a little.

To view the website go to http://www.mysweetjesus.com

Here is a brief list of everything that scares me about this Jesus:

1. He speaks in the third person – His chest says “Jesus loves you” not “I love you”

2. Jesus cost’s only $22 – forget any notion of a priceless Jesus or even free Jesus. This Jesus costs $22

3. This Jesus is only available to those in the US or Canada – maybe that’s okay, because no one else wants it, but doesn’t the whole world need Jesus?

4. The kid seems to be a bit afraid of it and can’t get away from it quick enough. Either that, or he’s just mad at Santa because he asked for a G.I. Joe

5. Jesus comes gift wrapped – I wonder how Jesus feels every time we put a nice little bow on Him and tell other’s he’s safe and pretty

6. My Sweet Jesus is made out of the same stuff as a stuffed animal

7. If you find the picture of Jesus by the window it appears as though he’s floating on a cloud. That’s not supposed to happen until the end of the world.

If you’ve read their list of 7X70 reasons why you should own a My Sweet Jesus doll let me add a few more

1. My Sweet Jesus Doubles as a traffic cone

2. The heart that reads, “Jesus Loves You” is sewn on and can be replaced with a speech bubble, to help keep your kids in line, that reads, “I’m watching you”

3. Coming soon from Cote Creations “The Sheep and The Goats Play Set.” When used in conjunction with the My Sweet Jesus doll your child can play “Judgment Day” and share with their friends what will happen to them.

There’s so much that could be said for their list of reasons for having a My Sweet Jesus doll. Each reason is pretty much an “insert joke here _____” moment, but I’ll refrain. Except there is one that I can’t let go of. Reason #9 “You (or your child) probably don’t have a Jesus doll.” What? There are other Jesus dolls out there? Why do I need one? Why is my life not complete without a Jesus doll? Isn’t it far better to have the real thing in my life?

I guess my concern, and part of the reason this doll sets me off so much, is that we often get confused and grab onto something fake instead of holding fast to what is real. As much as they claim this doll helps you have a relationship with Jesus, or helps you get out of bed and go to church on Sunday, or provides comfort in troubled times, it is not a substitute for a real relationship with Jesus. He’s so much more than a fifteen-inch tall doll we carry around with us. My concern is that we forget that. Or even worse others around us forget that too. They see the doll and think that’s all there is to our God.

My Body is Not a Smorgasbord

I was nearly eaten alive on the weekend.

By bugs of course.

I just wanted to make that clear up front.

This is what happens when you venture out into the wilderness without DEET. Fortunately, I appear to be West Nile free: at least for now.

We were told, when I was interviewing for this position, that there are no bugs here. We trusted this bit of information as it came from people who live here. Maybe we trusted this information too much. We hung our whole enjoyment of the outdoors on what we were told.

What those individuals meant to say was that there are no bugs here in Westbank, for they are all over near Lac Le Jeune an hour and a half drive away. When you go over there, you will be a snack for flying, blood thirsty, Chihuahua-sized, bugs. Some of which, I’m sure even had fangs.

These bugs will devour you.

At one point I almost headed to the hospital for stitches because my leg was covered in blood. Turned out I just squished a very full mosquito. Or was it a humming bird?

Let this be a warning to all heading out in to the wilderness near Lac Le Jeune to take bug spray. You can’t say you weren’t warned.

Maybe I’m Cooler Than I Think

I write that only because my perceived level of coolness if very low.

Case in point, I thought it would be cool, and uniquely entertaining, to learn a few chords on a ukulele so that I could dress as a ukulele playing bunny and serenade my girlfriend moments before asking her to marry me.

It amazes me she said yes.

There’s a picture of it somewhere.

It’s not cool.

Now and then I pull that ukulele out and mess around with it: even writing and recording a jingle to wake my wife up.

That’s not so cool either.

Then today, I discovered that the ukulele is more popular, and perhaps more cool, then I thought. And maybe my association with it makes me cooler.

I’ve found a number of ukulele orchestras online. The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain seems to be the most popular. There’s a fun little video on youtube. There is another Ukulele Orchestra from New Zealand. I wish I knew that before we went. They do a fun version of Hey Ya.

I suppose maybe if I practice hard enough I might be able to join such an orchestra one day. Then I’d be so cool.

Writting On The Wall (or what to get your dad for father's day)

Are you familiar with the phrase: “The writing’s on the wall”?

I can’t prove it, we get that expression comes from Daniel chapter 5. (Either that, or it was coined by a family notorious for their lack of scrap paper who opted instead to write all phone messages on the wall by the phone.) The phrase is used to mean that the end is near, or something is about to die. That is what Daniel had to say to King Belshazzar after a hand interrupted his party to scribe a message on his wall.

I’m sure the story of Daniel chapter five with the writing on the wall is well known for anyone who went to Sunday school. I’m always a bit nervous teaching it to kids, fearing that I’d be giving them license to go home and take their Crayolas to test their parent’s biblical comprehension on the dining room wall. Of course if I had a five year old who could write “Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin” I’d probably enroll them in the advanced track at day camp.

What’s usually not as well known is Daniel chapter 4. Daniel recaps the events of chapter 4 for King Belshazzar before explaining what the words on his wall meant. Daniel reminds the king that his father King Nebuchadnezzar was arrogant and needed to be humbled by God. Nebuchadnezzar was even stripped of power for a time until he acknowledged God. Daniel points out that Nebuchadnezzar eventually recognized that everything he had came from God.

Belshazzar made no such acknowledgement. And what’s worse, he knew of what happened to his father. He knew that his father lost everything because of pride and arrogance. And he knew that his father eventually gave God the credit.

Yet he learned nothing.

He forsook the knowledge of his father.

And so a message was written on his wall to tell him that his time was up. It was all over for him. And then that night he died.

It amazes me how often this happens: where a son ignores the wisdom and advice of his father. We even see several examples in scripture of a son repeating his father’s mistakes. Usually things are worse for the son, because he should have learned from his dad.

You’d think sons everywhere would eventually learn to heed the advice from dear old dad.

I imagine that would be a great gift to offer our fathers for father’s day. I know that if I had kid’s I wouldn’t want them to repeat my mistakes. I suspect most fathers feel that way.

The following has been floating around our church office this week. It has provided a good number of laughs and I feel that it is necessary I share it with you here.

Understanding how metrosexual your worship leader is. (A handy guide)


and don't miss the interpretation of it all: the score sheet

I hope that it makes you smile as much as it has made us smile.

Knowledge Barns

“Wise men store up knowledge” – Proverbs 10:14a

Usually, when I think of storing things up, my mind is filled with images of provisions for the winter, such as vast amounts of wood for the fire and a pantry filled with jars of food, or I think of huge grain silos filled with grain. These are all things that I don’t want to run out of. That’s what we store up right: things that we don’t want to run out of?

Knowledge has never been something I’d think to store up. It never seems to be something that could run out. The writer of proverbs seems to think differently. In fact, wise men (and certainly wise women) store up knowledge. Store it up so that you always have it. Store it up so that you’re never without knowledge.

Perhaps it's time to build a knowledge pantry and fill some jars for a long winter.