This is simply venting directed at one woodpecker who has lost his way. The sad thing is that he and I will never be able to properly communicate about this. He'll never read this and I have no idea how to get through to him.
Here's the thing: this morning, as with many mornings this spring, I've been awoken by a woodpecker in search of friends, or perhaps just one special friend, I think it's safe to say he's "lost that lovin' feeling." His method of date arranging seems to be loud knocking on the chimney of our house. The audio is also projected down the metal pipe and fills or house with a glorious string of "d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dat, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dat, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dat" at 6:15 it's far from welcome. Is there an e-harmony for woodpeckers? Perhaps he should try that.
I do not wish to seem opposed to this flighted woodland creature, but I would love to be able to sleep at least until 7am when the bulldozer in need of lubrication starts it's diesel engine and begins squeaking around the adjacent lot. As I type this there is either an low grade seven hour long earthquake happening or it's just another day on the job site for captain squeaky machines.
Sometimes I want to stand on my deck and yell: "You missed a spot!" But then I fear another week of work, and I refrain.
Neither way is a particularly enjoyable way to wake up, and I do hope the woodpecker finds someone, if for no other reason than an extra few minutes of peaceful sleep.