Dear Women Named Christopher:
According to howmanyofme.com, there are 1,601,205 Christopher's in the United States, and only 99.71% of them are guys. I'm not a mathematician but that means there is at least one woman named Christopher. Although, I'm assuming you probably go by Chris, as it is slightly less gender assumptive.
As someone who shares your given name, and finds it somewhat cumbersome, my heartfelt apologies go out to you.
I sincerely hope that one day you will share with us your stories of courage, strength and bravery.
Dear Person Who Rummaged Through My Vehicle:
I'm sorry for the burden I put on you by leaving my van unlocked. I know that had I never left it unlocked you would have never felt the need to go in and have a look around. I apologise for placing that temptation and strain on you.
While I am thankful that you didn't take anything, there are a few burning questions I have for you: What's wrong with my stuff? Did you not find anything in there worthy of being stolen? Is all my stuff garbage to you?
I know you looked at my sunglasses you left them on the seat outside their case. I know that my wife finds them ugly too, but they're really nice sunglasses.
Next time, could you do me the decency of taking something, or don't even bother going in.