Tales From The Ladies Room

Thursday, February 5, 2009

It’s been nice peeing in the men’s room again.

Our church building is undergoing a renovation. Right now they’re at the flooring stage and for the last couple days they’ve been tiling the men’s room floor leaving the entire staff to use the ladies room.

I normally try and avoid going into the ladies room. I remember as a kid that it was the forbidden zone. If someone pushed you into the girl’s bathroom you were simultaneously grossed out to the point of death, and excited to have seen what it was like inside.

On occasion when I’m locking up the building I’ll have to reach in and turn off the lights. That’s never a comfortable moment.

So on Tuesday when we were told that the ladies washroom was going coed for a couple days I began scaling back my water intake. I’m down to about what is bare minimum to survive. And for breakfast I pretty much just eat cheese. Okay, that cheese bit isn’t true, but I do think twice about anything I eat.

Prior to Tuesday there was only one time when I used a ladies room: and it was entirely unintentional. I had stopped at a gas station to fill one tank and empty another. When I went inside looking for the restroom I looked down the hall and went into the first door I saw that had “men” on the outside.

I should say that at the time I had quite long hair. It was so long I was often referred to as the “mail lady” while out on my mail rout. And once, when out for lunch with my mom the waitress asked what us “ladies” wanted to drink. I think you’re getting the picture.

Now, when I came out of the “men’s” room, I turned and noticed that before the word “men” were the letters “wo”. And at the counter was one very confused shopkeeper.

I’ve never been back to that gas station.

It’s always good to use the men's room. I’m glad it’s back.