Wedding Lessons

Thursday, March 10, 2011
I learned a very important lesson from the wedding of Sheena's brother last weekend.

Well, several lessons.

The first, and most serious, is that when you're officiating a wedding be very careful when, where, and for how long you pause. For example, a pause right after you say "You may kiss the bride" is highly appropriate. They need time to kiss without you yabbering through it.

However, a long pause right after you ask the groom: "Do you take [the bride] to be your wife" confuses the groom. When you're nervous, and in front of a room full of people, and especially when you're not used to being before a room full of people, a second feels like an hour. Your groom will begin to wonder if you're waiting for him to respond. So, if you leave a pause after that phrase, don't be surprised if the good says "I do."  It seems like you're asking him a question.

And you are.

So, if you're officiating a wedding, watch the pauses.

The second thing I learned is that it's becomming popular for weddings today are borrowing from 1960's TV shows. Let me demonstrate this with a picture.

This is a picture of the truck the couple used to leave the ceremony. It's an old white. Yes that's a rocking chair in the back for the bride to sit on.

This is the first wedding I've been to with such a vehicle for the newlywed couple. However, it wasn't the frist time I've seen this truck. Standing there watching them leave, I kept thinking I'd seen this vehicle, and scene, before. Then it occurred to me. I had seen it. 

This is a picture of the Beverly Hillbillies from the 1960's TV show. It looks crazy similar to the truck pictured above. There's even a rocking chair in the back. I'm sure somewhere, I've even seen Granny sitting in that rocking chair up there.

I am now going to be looking for other 60's TV show inspired weddings. Wouldn't a batman themed wedding be amazing?

"Holy inappropriate first kiss Batman."

That would be awesome.

The last thing I learned is that it doesn't take much for my wife to return to her roots. This picture serves as witness.

Can you identify Sheena?

She's in there along with members of her family. It's scary how naturally she dressed up for the reception. She heard the reception was a red neck theme and out came the flannel, gumboots, suspenders and grubby t-shirt.

I almost didn't recognize her.

I'm a little bit afraid of what might happen if we move to too small of a town. And it totally explains why Makiah's favourite footwear is her pink rubber boots. She just wants to be like mommy.