God Impressions

Sometimes I love watching a masterful impressionist: one so good that when they begin the impression they don't even need to tell you who they are doing. You know a bad impressionsit don't you? They're the guys who tell you they're doing Robert DeNiro* and you still don't see the resemblance.

They really talented guys slip in and out of characters like they're flip flops, and they don't pause to tell you who they are now.

It's like they become the other person. Like Frank Caliendo here



That's a good impression right there. I mean, he didn't need to tell you he was doing President Bush, he did, but it was unnecessary. And I love too, how he breaks down the aspects of the impression: the squinting, the head bobbing, the hand gestures. This could almost be a video on how to do a President Bush impression.

It's a masterful impression.

Ephesians 5:1 says this:

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children"

Hmm, be imitators of God.

Where's a video on how to do this?

What would be part of a good God impression?

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control, Holiness, Mercy, Justice, Caring, and more.

They would all have to be in there.

Some days I'll struggle with any combination of those. Okay, most days I'm doing great if I get one down.

If imitating God involves being all of that, modeling the all of those characteristic, it seems like Paul is instructing an impossible task.

But maybe not.

There's a great deal of hope in the second half of the verse: "as dearly loved children."

I've never tried, but I bet I could do a pretty good impression of my dad. Sometimes, I'd call my sister mom. Not because she was acting motherly, but because her and my mom do some things very much alike. Sometimes Sheena calls Makiah "Christopher." Why? Because we know where Makiah get's it. And sometimes I call Sheena "Sheila."

Recently I was at a camp with some students. One day, there were two gentlemen leaning against a counter in the dinning hall. One was older than I, and the other about 6, maybe 8, years of age. They were undeniably father and son.

If you held up two head shots of these guys I'd probably say there was no relation. But when they stood together it was blatantly obvious.  They stood the same. There was something about their genetic make up that caused them to pose, and move, their lanky bodies the same way. And without even making an effort.

Then naturally had the same posture.

Children are like their parents.

It's genetic.

Accept it, it's true.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old had gone, the new has come!"

The new creation we are becoming, when we join Christ, is sons and daughters of God. That means new family lines, new spiritual DNA, new way of being, new tendencies.

I'm not sure that means we can work on our God imitation while sitting on the couch. The new muscles required to show justice, and mercy, and patience, and love, and gentleness, and etc. need to be worked and toned. But they're in there waiting to be shown off.

They're like my six pack. Oh it's in there somewhere, it's just very well hidden.

To balance this thought, we don't achieve a great God impression on our own either. We need to work on it, because practice makes it better: more visible, more God like. However, we don't get there on our own strength. God has given us, through his spirit, the spiritual framework to be more like him, but he doesn't leave us there. When we practice these characteristics God himself becomes our trainer helping us develop muscles that are growing inside of us.

God, as our father, is desiring to work with us, helping us, hone a better God imitation, so that others might look at us and know what God is truly like. 

_ _ _

*because everyone does DeNiro especially the guys who can't do impressions.

Gifts I Don't Want For Christmas

Every year countless people get gifts they don't like. Then there's the awkward moment where you have to thank someone for something you'll either try and return or hold on to until you have a garage sale or drop off at a thrift store.

To help my loved ones buy meaningful gifts here is a list of a few things I don't want for Christmas:

1: Whopper Scented Cologne Not only have I never had the desire to smell like greasy flame broiled meat, Sheena got violently ill any time She smelled burgers during the early stages of her pregnancy. I'm just thinking that smelling like a burger is still a bad thing.

2: A coupon book of expired coupons or gift certificates

3: A saliva collection kit so that I can have my genetics tested.

4: A "Guinna Pigs Rule The World" t-shirt. I think that speaks for itself.

5: This necklace that gives new meaning to the idea of crappy jewelry

6: Game worn protective cup. Game worn jerseys are big, but I think there's a reason they're the only ting.


7: This little item made me smile, but seems rather inappropriate. I think I'll pass.

8: Cat Pencil Sharpener. I'm sorry, but I put my pencil where to sharpen it. No thank you.

9: Now you can buy nothing. I think the point of all this is so that I'll end up with something as opposed to nothing. Nothing is what I get when I get a bunch of junk I'll never use.

10: A travel Bidet. I don't have a bidet in my house, so why would I want one for the road.

11: A Back Shaver. I just simply think it's too late for this one. Maybe ten years ago it would have worked.

12: Perhaps this one takes the cake as the thing I least want for Christmas

Well, I hope this helps.

So, what's the worst gift you ever got?

Alternative Witnessing Tools?

I found a site today that kinda made me laugh and cry. It's a great collection of all the stuff that people try and market to Christians. I should warn you that the author is overly biting and critical in his comments, and I certainly don't agree with everything he says. However, it is a great compilation to make you smile and shake your head in disbelief that someone would ever buy this stuff.

I'm sure you could spend hours checking everything out, but there are a few things to look for:

- The Plush Jesus wearing a "wwjd" bracelet (wouldn't WWID be more appropriate?)
- Jesus Packing tape (so you can remind the mail man that Jesus is watching you cut across my lawn)
- The "Jesus is my Wingman" t-shirt (Take that Maverick)
- The "I heart Jesus" shot glass (How many Christians won't even know it's a shot glass?)
- "The Secret to Happiness" thong

And it's good that I now know "The Bible Cure for Prostate Disorders." Or maybe I'll go and get myself "Kowabunga Jesus."

And remember: "God Rocks"

here's the site:

Je$u$ Junk

thoughts on an all too common job description

A co-worker handed me a posting for a job the other day. (I’m not sure if perhaps this warrants some discussion of another kind.) I thought I would share the contents of that posting with you as I’m not sure if this is serious or not. The posting read:

Wanted – Youth pastor

A go-getter, a person of passion, a visionary, a leader of youth, a person who will solve all our problems

Wow.

To the church who posted the job, I have but this to say: “good luck with that.”

I have a sneaking suspicion that add is somewhat tongue in cheek, but it reminds me of just how often we fall into the trap of “one thing more,” and we get thinking that all our problems will be solved once we acquire that “one thing more.” We say, “If we hire this person all the problems will be fixed”, or convince ourselves that new love seat will make life complete.

But our problems don’t go away once we get more.

When we finally pause to asses the situation, we often find ourselves with heaps of stuff, and even more problems, because, not only are the old issues still present, we now need to figure out how to move all our acquisitions with us.

Perhaps we expect from stuff, and people as well, things they were never designed to do or be. Just ask my wife if her problems were solved when she married me. Nothing ever seems to come with the same level of satisfaction advertiser’s promise.

I’m often wondering if I’d have fewer problems if I had fewer things. Maybe I need to stop wondering and find some answers. If “only one thing is needed,” why do I have so much?

Stuff

My wife, Sheena, and I have been going through a bunch of old boxes. Almost all of them are full of things we acquired prior to getting married. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to see what we’ve spent money on. We can’t help but think of the sizable down payment we’d have on a house had we saved all that money instead. But at the time one of us just had to have the latest *NSYNC album.

There are, however, a good number of items I’m pleased to have brought into our marriage. I had great expectations that my wife would be as excited about each item as I was: if not more.

But not a single one impressed her.

Actually, for the most part, she’s eager for the day we can get rid of them.

Now, how many times do we come to God with all these things, this stuff, expecting Him to use them, and be as impressed with them as we are?

One day Jesus said to a woman frantic to provide stuff for him: “Only one thing is needed.” (For the whole account you can turn to Luke 10:38-42)

When Jesus spoke those words, the one thing needed is nothing that we can make with our hands. The one thing needed is our attentive heart: our life. It’s not a meal, an apple computer, or twelve of the hottest tracks of 2000. These things impress men, but not God.

Are we still trying to offer God the things that matter to us, and expect Him to use them?

He wants to use us. Jesus didn’t come to earth to redeem stuff so that the things of this world can be used by God. He came and redeemed us so that we can be made into the people God wants us to be.

Perhaps it’s time to take stock once again of all our stuff, especially the things that we’re trying to force fit into God’s plans, maybe then we’ll see there’s a whole lot of stuff we need to get rid of.


Like when I got married and brought into the marriage all this stuff expecting Sheena to be excited about it, at least as excited as I was, if not more, only God isn’t as excited about our stuff as we are.

Jesus said: “Only one thing is needed.”

When Jesus said “only one thing is needed,” He wasn’t talking about my apple computer. Or any of the stuff we offer God with expectations of his appreciation.

In truth, when Jesus spoke those words, He was speaking with a woman who though that Jesus would be impressed with a nice meal. Now I would be impressed with a nice meal, but not Jesus.

Let’s read the story found in Luke 10: 38-42

Instead of just coming as He made us, or as He is making us to be, we come with our accomplishments and what we have made. That doesn’t impress God. He wants what He has made.

Perhaps it’s time to take stalk once again of al our stuff, especially the stuff that we’re trying to force fit into God’s plans, maybe then we’ll see there are whole lot of things we need to get rid of.