Introducing...

My wife is amazing.

Three weeks ago she was sprawled out on a table in an operating room to be sliced open so that our son could join the outside world.

This was not the outcome my wife had hoped for. It turns out that when you combine our DNA you get kids with big heads. I mean, we make noggins. And it takes medical advancements to bring these melons out into the world.

So my wife was in the OR, some 14 or so hours after going into labor, and many hours after the epidural wore off.*

The only thing, in my wife's opinion, worse than a cesarean, was being completely put under. Being right out meant not seeing the baby right away. It meant missing hearing the first cry, and missing that special moment, even though it is incredibly brief, where they let the mom see the baby before it heads up to the nursery.

She was not about to miss any of that.

Oh, and apparently I wouldn't be allowed in the room if she was right out. And she didn't want me to miss out on anything either.

Even if it meant having some feeling in her abdomen. As in, she felt the knife.

What?

Okay, there's no way I'd put up with that.

So, they couldn't freeze her completely, I get that. She had a lot of pain medication already, and her body was showing signs that the medication wasn't going to work.

So, she grinned and bared through open abdominal surgery so that the two of us wouldn't miss the first moments of our son's life.

I have a long list of proof that my wife is a whole lot tougher than I am, and because of stunts like this it  keeps getting longer.

And so our son emerged on September 17. Unfortunately, despite much pleading with the nurses, I was not allowed to recreate the scene from the Lion King by standing on the hospital roof and holding him out for the world to see.

But now that he's home there's no one to stop me. Oh, except for Sheena, who I'm now a little bit afraid of, because of what she put up with in that operating room.

Makiah's doing a pretty good job showing him off, and maybe that's even better. She tells everyone we meet: "That's my brother."

She's proud and possessive.

And if she doesn't hug him to death she'll do a great job protecting him.


- - -
*how often does that happen?

I NEED it...

My two year old changes catch phrases more frequently than I change underwear.

Three days ago it was "Can't do it"

Two day's ago she was calling everyone "hun"

Now she'd onto "I need _____________. I Need _______________ right now."

And let me share with you some of the things she so desperately, in her own opinion, needs. Here are some of the ways she has filled in those blanks:

- to use the garden hose

- chocolate milk

- a chip

- a nap*

- blanket

- sit in front seat

- fruit snack

- stickers

- dolly

- eww**

Interesting that despite the food requests, none of which are classified as essential foods, nothing she "needs" are essential for life.

While I would love to be able to sit her down and explain the difference between needing and wanting, I realize that so often I need someone to have that very conversation with me. She has been cause to pause and examine how often I stomp my feet and demand things, reasoning they are needs, when I'm just pushing my wants and desires on others.

Perhaps there is a little two-year-old inside me that shows up every now and then.

_ _ _
* I was actually glad to hear her say this one

** Eww is her word for poo. As in I have to go to the bathroom.

Coombs Baby

I love it when Sheena has an ultrasound appointment.

I know they're controversial. I know some people have strong feelings about ultrasounds. I know some people never get them.

They are missing out.

They're so much fun.

I love seeing the images, but they're more than images. They're tiny clues into the personality that is already forming. The kid is playing around in there, and as a dad you are privy to such a tiny amount of what the mom is aware of.

My understanding is that Sheena feels movement almost constantly. While I probably play patty cake with the kid maybe ten minutes a week.

But when it comes ultrasound day I get to see what is going on in there. And it is awesome.

Kinda weird, because the kid looks more like an alien than his father at this point. But it's still amazing.

Here's a bit of what we saw on the last appointment.

So apparently, our kid is going to be a hippie.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Naming Offspring

Naming offspring is never easy.

Are we seriously the only species to do it?

I know very little on the subject. In fact, I'm sure I know more don'ts than dos.

Here's one from the other day: Don't discuss baby names late at night. It may very well have been that 11:30pm is the first time the two of you have been able to talk all day but don't make that the time to discuss Jr's moniker. I'm certain that most of the ridiculous names kids are burdened with are dreamed up late at night by brains deprived of sleep and rest.

Earlier, I was on a website, Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing,  that shars tips on what not to name your kids. To check it out go here. Here's a few rules I found on there today written by D: Goodman:


Q: What should I name my kids?

A: I can't give you the perfect name. I'm much better at cursing the darkness, anyway. But here are a few tips I've gleaned from digging around bulletin boards, books, and the tons of e-mails I get from readers:

• Generally avoid nouns. You're asking for trouble.
• Do a Google search for your name ideas. If all you get are porn sites, white supremicist groups and pictures of My Little Ponies - it's a bad name.
• Look at lists of the most popular baby names for the last three years. Steer clear of the top 10, and definitely steer clear of any names that suddenly jump from #150 to #25.
• No celebrity names. Your kids will immediately hate this celebrity, and be horribly embarassed forever.
• If you like a common name, but don't like how it's spelled, tough. Either use the usual spelling, or find a new name. Andrywe is NOT a name.
• Most Americans are assimilated cultural mutts, without much connection to their ancestry. If you want to reconnect with your heritage, go to the library. Do not name your kid Bronwyn and think you are now in touch with your 1/16 Welsh side.
• A stupid sounding name is still a stupid sounding name even if its meaning is "beloved queen" or something else nice.
• Do not name your kid with elementary school bullies in mind. If it isn't incredibly obvious (Gaylord, Fartoff), they're going to get that little bit teased like the rest of us were, and there's nothing you can do about it.
• Try these on for size: "Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I'd like to introduce you to the new CEO of MultiGlobal Corp., [blank blank]" or "Also on the presidential panel is MIT's chief biochemical researcher, Dr. [blank blank].
• Assuming your child will live to age 70, s/he will spend 16% of their life as a child, 10% of their life as teenagers and 14% as senior citizens. The remaining 60% of their lives they will be adults. Plan accordingly.

I think I'll be taking these to heart. 

Dear Bridger

Dear Bridger:

I have a feeling I won't be able to thank you enough.




found on totsandgiggles.com

2 Year Old Bieber Fever

Thank You Girls in our youth group who taught my daughter to sing Justin Bieber's Baby.

The four hour dive to the island today was wonderful with a two year old singing: "Baby, baby, baby ooh."

Thank You very much.

Little Miss Backseat Driver

Sheena and I have been trying to help our daughter learn colours.

She's getting it, but on occasion will shout "Pink!" for absolutely no reason.

Which leaves me wondering: is there such a thing as colour turrets?

But then, then, she'll do something absolutely brilliant like point at the different colours on her jammies and tell you what they're called. This makes us fell like good parents, and we pat ourselves on the back for a brilliant job educating our daughter.

Yes, she's quite smart.

Perhaps too smart.

The other night Makiah and I were driving through town and while stopped at a red light I began making funny faces at her in the mirror.  This is a common event while driving. Then something new happened. I'm in the middle of my best goofy face, one that usually causes her to bust out laughing, when she begins pointing straight ahead and shouting "Green! Green! Green! Green!"

I look up and see the light has changed.

As I start to drive away I look back and she my daughter all proud of herself. While it's wonderful seeing  her full of self-confidence, I can't help but wonder if she's more proud of herself for corectly identifying the light colour, or prompting my driving.

I think it might be more the latter.

I can't believe that she's not even two and already an excellent back seat driver. I'd be more proud if it wasn't kind of annoying.

Squeaky Shoes

Hey Parents!

Do you have trouble finding your child in a crowd?

We've got just the thing for you.

These are real shoes!

Not that long ago, Sheena was in a thrift store and found some cute shoes for our daughter. And they're adorable.

When she was contemplating buying these shoes, she noticed they had a squeaker box in them. She tried to make noise with them but was unsuccessful. This led her to believe they didn't chatter.

So she bought them.

Turns out out daughter is pro at making them sing.

We shouldn't be loosing her in church again.

High Calorie

We love our daughter.

We think she's brilliant.

Out of the blue Sheena asked her to put something in the garbage and she did it quickly and percisly. And without formal training.

She's just that good.

She's not perfect though. We're aware of that.

We're currently enjoying a few days away down the Oregon coast. We took her to the aquariam today. She loves animals. And sure enough you'd think someone threw a giddy switch when she saw the sea lions swiming around. She went nuts. And we couldn't tear her away from the sea otters--which we tried, unsucessfully, for 45 minutes to convince her weren't puppies.

She still thinks sea otters are puppies.

I'm somehow holding her uncle Jason accountable for that.

Today we're in Newport Oregon.

Here's a few things I've leaned from our travels today.

1. Not every place called "South Beach" is glamorous.

2. If you need a sword* this is the place to come. I've seen more swords than people today.

3. If you take delicious clam chowder and add baby shrimp and tons of cheese you will create a very delicious dish, which I'm pretty sure has nearly my daily allotment of calories.


*and really, who doesn't need one?

choices

Last night my daughter choose eating stale potato chip crumbs off a very dirty youth room floor over being held in a loving embrace.

This morning I can't help but think of all the ways I, and others, have chosen the dirty crumbs over the love of the father.

She's far too young to see the parallels but I hope that one day she does. I also hope she chooses God over the mess around her.

But mostly, I hope she finds herself in a loving embrace if there is ever a next time she has to vomit up the dirt she's just eaten.